What's there to be said that hasn't been said already? This is not a blog about spiritual bypassing or creating a false reality to make everything seem like its okay. However, some of us may feel like we actually have adjusted and are now finding some rhythm in this quarantine.
I haven't really wanted to admit it, but I have found some...urgh..joy...shall I say? Mostly, moments during the day feel pretty dull. I do not spend each moment occupying myself to stay "busy". I have needed the opposite right now. I needed space to breathe and actually - do nothing.
Find simple pleasures to be full of potent joy; this has been a blessing.
That is OPPOSITE of how my day-to-day life looks. As an aspiring entrepreneur, a full-time esthetician, a community builder, a networker, a partner to an incredibly present lover, a daughter, a best-friend...etc,etc.. I would ONLY work on one mode: running. I run, run, run to do what I believed to be fueling myself to move forward. In the spirit of an entrepreneur, my belief is that if I don't do it for me, no one will. So, if I don't maintain a certain pace to create momentum and growth in my business, I feel like I am failing myself. I get caught in the "I could be" thinking... which isn't aligned with my true purpose.
In a way, I know that running towards my goals serves me, desire for growth turns my passion into purpose and keeps me humbled. But, of course, there are times of exhaustion. When the constant grind and hustling get the best of me and I need rest but I do not let myself. Not because I feel like I need to constantly perform/overwork myself, but because I deeply love what I do and how many people I can come in contact with when I am running all around the city. However, I realize, that I can't have meaningful connections AND time for self-preservation when I do not allow myself time to breathe.
As intentionally as I believe I live, I also have moments of weakness like anyone else, that weakness being the amount of time I spend DOING instead of BEING. And this is something I am constantly working on.
So, this time in isolation has brought me a sense of inner-knowing and self-reflection that I may have otherwise missed. I need to allow myself, without guilt or pressure, to rest and digest...to allow space to breathe...to actually DO NOTHING...nothing but staying safe and healthy for as long as possible.
I believe life is meant to be simple, we humans complicate it. Naturally, we are meant to have a symbiotic relationship with nature. It is in perfect order, cycling through on its own time to ensure the homeostatic balance of all beings within its ecosystem. Humans, we have this ubiquitous ability, yet we have to learn to re-program ourselves in order to come back to homeostasis. Our thinking brains and our doing bodies create complexities that rob us of our natural ability to just BE. We overperform, overwork, overexert and overstimulate ourselves again and again. But, for what? That's what I have been evaluating. In order to come back to balance and harmony, allowing myself full permission to JUST BE. There is such power in it, and the journey back home to myself has been so rewarding, more than achieving any other goal right now.